Here we are again, trying to be as honest as humanly possible…
I lost my job on Valentine’s Day. I wish I could say that it had NOTHING to do with me and it was all their fault. While I obviously wasn’t a favorite around the office (for reasons outside of my control) and I wasn’t treated with much respect, I copped out. There were days when I could be there, but I wasn’t. I took the days unpaid. I gave myself the excuse that I just couldn’t tolerate the mental/emotional abuse, but honestly that’s not the whole truth. And I think this is God’s way of showing me that my actions have consequences.
When things get tough or I am enduring too much pain, I tend to run. I have a hard time putting my head down and pushing through….a lot of the time. I wish I weren’t like this and I strive to be better than I am the day before, but that’s not how it turned out this time. And if we’re being real with ourselves, there is more times than not that I want to throw in the towel and just give up… and I do. I give up mentally and my heart isn’t in it. I forget about Colossians 3:23 – “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” Even more strangely, that is the ONLY verse that I can remember where it came from in the bible. Except John 3:16, but I’m not getting any credit there. Atheists know that one.
Why is it that I keep running? What is keeping me in this bondage of quitting? I’ll tell you. The enemy creates strongholds – and this, friends, is (was) one of mine.
At church Sunday, the pastor talked heavily about change and how we’re in control of our lives and what we do and think. It hit hard…I mean, REALLY hard. I cried and prayed and recalled the times that I failed myself. But something happened that day (yesterday). I had a moment of clarity where I KNEW I was receiving insight from the Holy Spirit. I don’t HAVE to quit. I really don’t have to! It sounds that simple because it honestly is. I try to make it complicated and find as many excuses I can as to why I didn’t get that done or why I didn’t follow through here or there. Not enough time in the day. I didn’t have a babysitter. My head hurts. I am just not FEELING right.
But when it comes down to it, I was making CHOICES! Because trust me, if it’s something I realllly want to do, I will find a way to do it. No ifs, ands or buts about it. I am just that type! Wait, what? I’m that type? I thought I was the quitter – the one who is the creator of the greatest excuses!
And that’s when I realized…the enemy is a liar. I am NOT a quitter and I never have been. I am a striver and a survivor and an overcomer. I knock down giants and slay lions because I have Jesus. That’s WHO I AM! So, from here on out, I no longer wear the badge of “quitter”. Sure, I’ve made crappy decisions…we all make crappy decisions, but I refuse to let it define me anymore. That lie has held me in bondage since before I can remember, and I won’t have to listen to it anymore.
So, devil, if you’re reading this (and I know you are), you lose. God is my victor and I walk in triumph KNOWING that I am the head and not the tail. I am forgiven and loved and cherished and I have a purpose.
I am not a quitter. My name is Lia Brady and I WILL keep going when the going gets tough.
Declare that over yourselves today!